Modified motivation: And here, according to the prez, is why we launched modern history's first American preemptive war: "Saddam Hussein was dangerous, and I'm not just going to leave him in power and trust a madman. He's a dangerous man. He had the ability to make weapons at the very minimum."

Fact or fiction: McSweeney's runs a little quiz: guess which of the 14 listed quotations came from George W. Bush and which were uttered by the fictional Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars movies.